I do not love cell phones.

A few times now (courtesy of Alyx and Jennie) I have read lists of things that irritate bloggers. This made me happy, because I am irritated by many things. Tailgaters, people who leave their turn signals on for, like, an hour after they make their turn or lane change, shaming (fat, slut, exercise, etc. etc. etc.), misogyny, owners of small dogs who treat those dogs as though they are not dogs, half-tonne trucks….

There is one thing that irritates me above most others, though. On a “this is reality” level, this annoys me considerably less than misogyny and shaming. But on a day-to-day basis? Major piss-off.

Cell phones, folks. Cell phones drive me batty.

Well. Okay, that’s unreasonable. Cell phone users drive me batty. Like small dogs, cell phones are bound by the (twisted) whims of the people who own them.

I get it, we’re in a technology driven world. I get it, we want it all and we want it now. I get it, fun tech is (super) fun.

I get it. I really do. But, for the love of all things good? Put the fucking technology away.

In social settings:

Please do not set your cell phone on the table when you’re out with friends or family. Unless you are waiting for an important call, there is nothing more important than the person/people you are sitting with. If you are waiting for an important call (say, for instance, you and your fiance are in the process of buying a house and you need to talk chat about how much you’re willing to pay while you’re in the middle of bidding and you happen to have a dinner date with friends that day), let your date(s) know that you need to keep an ear out for the phone call that you would otherwise ignore.

Please, for the love of Pete, do not pick up and start texting in the middle of a conversation. I don’t care who you’re texting, you’re an asshole. Few things make me feel more like standing and walking out of a coffeeshop in a huff than a “friend” who has just picked up their phone randomly and started texting…while we were talking. (This is, of course, barring The Important conversations we just touched on. That is a different creature altogether.)

If you need to call home when a date is ending because you think your partner/roommate/parent/sibling/crazy neighbour might like a beverage or take-out meal, by all means call them. Remember: a polite “I’m just going to call So-And-So and see if they’d like me to pick something up for them” preempt goes a long way.


(Image @ Technical Blather..)

In line at a store:

I am a long-time retail worker. Absolutely nothing, including condescending jerkfaces, annoys me more than the customer standing at my register who chats, or texts, on their cell phone during our transaction. I absolutely am worth these three minutes of your life and you absolutely are being incredibly rude. If you have to take a call, move out of line. If you don’t move out of line, expect me to look unimpressed.


(Image @ Style for Success)

In a restaurant:

Store rules apply. If you’re yammering away on your phone AND giving your server your order, expect not to be their favourite table. You’re being a douche. Put the phone down and treat restaurant employees like the people they are.

While driving:

Do I need to go here?

Don’t text and drive. As far as I’m concerned, you’re inebriated. Your attention is not on your driving and, like the asshole who drinks and drives, you’re going to hurt someone. No text is that important.

Unless you’re hands-free, pull over. You’re not getting any farther behind if you just pull over, take your call or compose your text, and then get back on the road. Super awesome special bonus? No one gets hurt.


(Image @ Funny Sign)

To be fair, I don’t own a smart phone. I rock a little pay-and-talk number that cost me all of $50 (before the $10/month I spend on minutes). This phone was a huge upgrade from my previous pay-and-talk. Why? It has a camera. Yup – I’m living la vida 2001. (Sometimes I feel more like I’m 89 than 30.)

Honestly? My biggest hang up is the social aspect. I do not love watching people on a date in a movie theatre or restaurant who are more interested in their telephone than conversation with each other. Same goes for families and groups of friends in a restaurant who are having a more animated relationship with their text partner(s). I have been interrupted for non-important texts and phone calls and it does not feel wonderful.

This is my pet peeve. If you’re all for 24/7 cellular telephone usage an it’s working in your relationships, that is awesome. I can completely understand that. Just be cognizant of those around you. Not everyone appreciates your phone calls in line at the coffee shop.

Five Finger Death Punch – Bad Company



9 thoughts on “I do not love cell phones.

  1. The only time I disagree with this is when I need to take a picture/or Instagram my food (and I don’t care how cliche it is, I very often instagram my food).

    I recently got a smartphone, so it’s dangerous and easy to fall into a lot of the above traps. I think the most difficult for me is when I am trying to be involved in a conversation and someone pulls out their phone and starts texting and I’m all, “OH YOU’RE GONNA BE AN ASSHOLE? WATCH ME DO IT BACK.” That can be a problem. 😉

    • I can see that. It’s not like you’re ignoring dining company to take a quick photo. 🙂

      This is actually part of the reason I don’t have a smartphone. Number one is the expense I just really don’t need and number two is that I LOVE new gadgets and know how fun new tech is. I would be terrified of becoming the things that annoy me. >.< Also? I can totally see your return assholishness. Pretty sure I've done that once or twice. You're going to ignore me? OKAY THEN…. (Of course, with the phone I have, it takes me five minutes to compose a 140 character message. I hate texting because of that.)

      • Yeah, that’s what happened to me. it’s been sooo helpful for work and writing though (so easy to write down notes with my iphone!). I had a crappy tiny phone for YEARS so I know that takes forever to text feeling.

  2. A. Freaking. Men.

    I HATE texting and driving. Seriously. If you HAVE to text, use your hands free device and that nifty little talk to text feature. If it’s THAT important, you could just call, you know. And it drives me absolutely insane when I’m out with a friend and they are paying more attention to their phone than to me. Rude. Rude. Rude.

  3. And then people proceed to get MAD when you wait until after they hang up to take their order! Like seriously, what was I supposed to do, read your mind?
    And the cellphone on the table thing ughhh so true

    • Good grief. Absolutely. “It’s true, I was completely ignoring you so as to really piss you off because, let’s face it, I hate tips. I work here for the wage and cheap food.” So ridiculously rude. Hah. I have to stop responding to comments on this post, it just gets my “Grr!” on. 😉

  4. I agree… I find it so rude to be hanging out with people, either at home or in a restaurant or wherever and then have them start texting in the middle of a conversation… I automatically lose respect. You don’t value my time and attention? Fine, go away.

    • That’s the long and short of it, isn’t it? I almost always consider just standing up and walking out when that happens. (More than I care to admit. …heh, maybe I’m just dead boring company…?)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s