I know love, despite childlessness.

Read this today. This is a post, from the lovely Patricia Alexandra, about why it is absolutely acceptable (and awesome) to not have children.

This article reminded me of something I had written months ago and plum forgot to post. I think today is an appropriate day to post it.


What a load of crap(This was a random Facebook Newsfeed item. I am sorry to say that I did not search to save a location for it. If this is yours and you don’t mind my using it? A) Thank you! B) Send me your information and I would be thrilled to link back!)

So this appeared on my Facebook news feed a little while back.

Instant irritation.

I don’t have children. I may never have children.* You know what? That’s o(fucking)kay.

I was once advised, after extolling my desire not to spawn (five-ish years ago), that my life would not be complete without having a child of my own.

Oh no you didn’t!

Here’s my incredibly strong belief: my life would not be any better, or any worse with children of my own in it. My life would be different. Not better. Not worse. Different.

I know the simple comfort of holding hands with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know the pain of saying goodbye to someone I love. I know the awesome joy of watching a puppy discover a butterfly.

I have felt a swarm of butterflies take wing in my stomach when my husband comes home after a weekend away. I have hugged a friend who has just brought a miracle into the world. I have cried in sympathy of personal tragedy.

I fucking know love.

I understand where this quote is coming from and I can appreciate it, but this shit needs to tone down in a big way.

Sons of Butcher – Fuck the Shit


*Despite this pregnancy, I still do not have children. Despite estimated Doomsday being today I am realist enough to understand that I may still not have children. (I tend not to count chickens before they’ve hatched.)


3 thoughts on “I know love, despite childlessness.

  1. God I agree with this so much. I have always thought that mothers are incredibly valuable (I was blessed with a wonderful amazing mom), but there is so much that I hate about the pressure to pop out babies. I hate seeing people have babies because it’s a woman’s duty, because society expected them to, because it will make them happier.

    It absolutely kills me. Then again, I sometimes think that I WAY overthink the possibility of having a child. It terrifies me beyond belief (I’m at a stage where I currently don’t want children but am not writing it off just yet). The way that I would want to raise a child is practically impossible in today’s day and age. I also do NOT want a child that is a combination of me & my man… basically the most stubborn, mischievous, lying little demon child ever.

    So my plan is to wait until I decide, with lots of thought and deliberation, whether or not I want babies.

    The point of my mini rant is that I completely agree. I know love without being a mother, and while I may not completely get every aspect of what it is like to be a mother, I don’t think that I am ignorant in that sense. 🙂

    • 🙂

      The pressure to procreate and the belief that you are less valuable if you don’t. It’s maddening.

      I was right there lady, and I don’t think you can over-think it. I think it’s a huge deal. A game changer. It took me years to be excited about the idea of having a family. Then it took quite a while to actually get to where I am right now (Husband and I were absolutely of the mindset that if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. We were not going to go the route of extreme measures to get pregnant – though I absolutely support and encourage that if it’s important to you. It wasn’t for us. Because again? My life is not incomplete without children). I completely agree with your deliberation, thought and evaluation. If kids are right for you, that’s awesome. If you prefer to spoil nieces and nephews (related by blood, marriage, or “chosen family”), that’s frickin’ awesome, too! 🙂

      Sounds like your possible future spawn is a LOT like the apocalyptic critter I’m expecting any day now. 😉 I fear for the world….

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