A post-partum question.

Attention all folks interested in pregnancy, labour, delivery and all of the things that follow!

I have a question for you.

Background: there is a (metric) shit-tonne of literature about pregnancy, labour, delivery, “life with a newborn,” and all of the milestones that pretty little critter will experience as it grows (like a weed).

Do you feel that there is enough, or adequate information out there about post-partum experiences?

I don’t necessarily mean depression, although that is certainly an important thing to discuss, as I feel there is a fair amount of information and support for that. I’m talking the nitty-gritty. The (possibility of) hemorrhoids, the reality of nursing and its physical effects, your first period after your pregnancy is over, the after-delivery bleeding, tearing, scar tissue, sex after delivery – all of it.

A friend of mind put it pretty well when she mentioned that women kind of fall through the cracks after they give birth (sometimes as soon as they announce pregnancy). The baby becomes (not wrongly) The Super Important. This is wonderful, of course, but is your after-delivery experience too glazed over? Are there things you learned the hard way that you wish were actually talked about (and not in a horror story kind of way)?

For me, most of it was hard learned. Of course there is post-partum literature out there. Of course I expected some things, after conversations with my midwives, doula and friends. But, I find that all of that information is very closely tied with early motherhood and baby information and gets a little bit lost in the fray.


Would you find it useful to have some information that addresses all of these things and puts you first? (Because you already know that you are a second class citizen as soon as you discover that little zenomorph growing inside of you.)

If you agree, what are the things you would like discussed? (If you would prefer to send this information a little less publicly, please email me at foxyouverymuch{at}gmail{dot}com) Because, yes, I may be increasingly interested in a new project (I have no time for).

Thank you!

Oh! Also. Where did you learn about all of the things that happen after pregnancy is over? Books (and which ones), internet, word of mouth? What was most useful?

AND! If you have any friends and family who might be interested in this project, please feel free to send them my way! I want ALL of the information. All of it.

Again, thank you!

Neil Young – Old Man


Edit. (31/03/14) Also! I should mention that I am very interested in men’s, and non-pregnant partners’ perspectives as well. I am clearly very focused on the physical aspects of pregnancy and its inevitable end, but relationships, and mental and emotional health (not just post-partum depression) are super important and relevant to me. You all matter.


4 thoughts on “A post-partum question.

    • Which is awesome. I am very thankful for the men and women out there who are open to writing about all of the things, especially when they do it honestly (though not horrifically). 🙂 …I just wish there had been a few more hints as to “baby’s birth isn’t The End.” Oh well. I know for next time. 😉 Hah.

  1. Its true as you say, there was a lot I discovered first hand, as well checkimg a bit online. But no one was so honest about everything that happens, apart from the women i met who had given birth at the same time as me. I took part in a pre partum course and we focused so much on the pregnancy, and then we left and had babies… and discovered all the rest as new moms. But we knew that these mothers were available to consult. I live in italy and its pretty awewome the health care sysytem. Now on my second kido and i feel it all coming back to me…

    • Thank you for commenting! (I’m so sorry I am so late checking back. BUSY WEEK. Good grief.)

      It’s incredible, the amount of information available to you regarding pregnancy, and even birth, and saddening (to me) how Mom gets a bit left out of the loop a soon as Baby comes around. I understand the importance of the little gaffer, and I appreciate the attention and support they have, but I don’t feel comfortable with how quickly women seem to be swept under the rug, sometimes.

      I love that you have a great healthcare system! I’m glad. I’m in Canada and ours is pretty wonderful too, especially considering some alternatives. I’m glad the pre-partum mothers were available to ask questions of, though. That’s awesome. I would like to see more of that here. It would be really cool to have a post-partum class, the way we have pre-natal ones. Not to scare women with what may happen, but to offer them some knowledge, and the chance at some support. (This is why I think more women should have doulas present at their births. The support is amazing, and the opportunity for post-partum wisdom is priceless.)

      You are wonderful – thank you, so much, for commenting! 🙂

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