(Image @ Sikh Answers)
I just got off the telephone with my father-in-law, a truly amazing, uplifting, inspiring person, who I am so thankful for and appreciate more than I have words for. We chatted about the weather, my mother-in-law’s plans to teach my brother-in-law how to make pastry (so that he can bring jam tarts to church tomorrow morning. I envy the congregation), and we spoke briefly about karma. Not the vindictive “that guy’s an asshole. That shit’ll bite him in the balls sometime, hopefully soon. Karma, y0” kind, but the “you get out of The Universe what you put into it” kind. It reminded me of a conversation I’d had late last month with a friend and co-worker, about a (mutual) friend and ex-co-worker.
Our (mutual) friend and my ex-co-worker, who will henceforth be known as Squirrel (because obviously, that’s why), is the poster child for that latter form of karma. It was our friend and my (current) co-worker who brought this understanding to my attention. She pointed out that he was who she thought of when she thought of karma, because Squirrel is not afraid to put himself out into the world. Not just a little bit of himself, careful and guarded, but everything. He shares so much energy with the world, and the world shares right back.
Squirrel moved across the country a few years ago. From far West to far East, he packed his little car with all of the worldly belongings he didn’t sell or give away and drove. Now me (and our friend)? We would be nervous, anxious and (probably) more than a little scared to do that, but not Squirrel. Nope, Squirrel went out with confidence. He didn’t meet trouble, there was no threat of breaking and entering his car and making off with his valuables, he, in fact, made friends. (Of course he did…. ) He found wonderful people, along his way, and have a grand time.
When he arrived out East, not everything went his way. Some of it did, but plans are best written in pencil, as those of us who have inked them have learned. Was Squirrel bogged down by that? Not as far as I know. Maybe a little, because disappointment touches us all, but he didn’t let it get him down. He pulled himself up, made new plans, put a little trust in The Universe, and just kept swimming.
“Of course you did” is my typical response to Squirrel. It’s something of an inside joke, but it’s also really reasonable. Nothing surprises me when it comes to him anymore. If he wants something, he works for it and he gets it. It’s pretty amazing to watch. And inspiring. That’s what I wrote to him the other day, that he’s an inspiration to me,
tl;dr: you’re a big deal, you’re loved, you’re missed, and you inspire me not only to be a better person, but to trust myself, and not be afraid, to put all of myself into my life (not something I’ve been good at, historically).
I want to be like Squirrel. I want to trust myself to put myself out there. I want to stop being afraid of failure, and success, and start working toward my goals and dreams. I want to smile politely at the negative influences in my life, recognize that they exist, but stop listening to them.
My Magnum Opus won’t write itself, I won’t become a doula by sitting idly and hoping it happens. It’s time to start working and putting a little bit more trust into life.